sincerely, Dubya

dear so you think you can dance?,
i sadly admit that i watch you.
but i have some criticism that you should take into consideration.
first, the host and some judges:

cat deeley, you suprisingly dont annoy me. with that accent i feel like im watching bridget jones' diary, but hey at least you dont say, "we'll find out....AFTER (heavy on annunciation)...the (quiet)....BREAK (quick/loud)" like that dreadful ryan seacrest.

brian, simmer down on the tanning bed and soul-glo. i feel like if you shook that jew-fro around, youd soak the other judges with shiney, wet, hair product.

dan, while im on the subject of hair product...whats with you? little dudes with thinning hair should not try to put some palmade up in there and expect to look remotely normal....game over. try again.

mia, havent seen you much since auditions. probably because the few times you got out from behind the judges table, we were shocked to see your GINORMOUS ass! how does a dancer/choreographer get such a large badunk??
also, i think they took you off because you exude 'weird dyke' vibes....and thats just the worst.

shane, youre automatically cooler than anyone else. because youre black.

mary. i saved you for last of the judges because you are the epitome of everything annoying. you squeel and yell, "woooooooo!" with all 12 hundred teeth showing. you are much, much more painful than paula abdul. and that says alot.

now a few dancers:
jaymz. sooo glad youre gone! you made me uneasy for some reason. couldve been to editorial cartoon face, with beady eyes, large nose and pervy smile, or it couldve been the gayest outfits EVER. but it was probably both.
plus, who spells 'james' like that?!? good riddance, unicorn face.

heidi, you are almost equally as strange looking. your head is obviously a cube.

benji....oh, benj. i want to kick your ass. like, bad. im hesitant putting your picture up just for the fact you make me want to throw up in my mouth a little. go back to obscurity, and try to convince people youre likeable....youll die trying.

ashlee, whats up with the hat? blossom showed us that in 1992, and it was equally as uncool then.

martha, gurrrl. youze got gums fo' days! no more smiling, or else when you get kicked off, theyll turn you into glue.

and last...
travis. you know youre gonna win right? so stop acting so damned shocked when your 'safe'.

i should get on this program and show my sweet moves.
sincerely,
dubya