i used to be a fan of yours. i thought you were this down to earth, chill, laid back guy from texas. but barbera walters informed the american viewers of one issue. you havent worn deoderant in 20 years! ummm, sick.
i can only imagine the b.o. you exuded on the set of sahera...then again, i guess thats what penelope cruz likes about you. it probably remindes her of being back in whatever latin american country shes from.
maybe stetson was trying to send you a hint when they hired you as their spokesperson. grown-man-sweat-stench can not be solved by mearly splashing on some stetson. take a shower. use some scented soap. put on some speed stick. and go about your day. would it be that hard? it would make all the people within a 5 feet radius much happier.
sincerely,
dubya
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