sincerely, Dubya

dear thomas jefferson,
you may be the 3rd president, but youre the best one in my book.
why? because apparently you spent 1/3 of your annual presidential funds on wine...way to go!
back when normal people made approx $1 dollar a day, you made upwards of $24,000 a year. and used your ties to the french to get your libations cheap and by the ish-load.
not only did you have literally thousands of bottles of wine, you made a secret pulley system that lifted the bottles from your cellar, up to the living room through the side of the chimney....INGENIOUS!
even in your daily drunken haze, you multitasked--running a country, entertaining foreigners, AND impregnating slaves. quite the juggling act ya got there, tommy.
sincerely,
dubya

ps--you gave me a new slogan to go by, "If a man dies before drinking all his wine, he died too early."- T.JEFF