Saturday, February 25, 2006

dear ricin,
what the hell? what are you thinking? all of a sudden you show up on campus, in a girls roll of quarters, and all hell breaks loose. i consulted miriam webster, and heres what he had to say: "Ricin is a potent toxin that could be used as an agent of biological warfare or as a WMD. Derived from the beans of the castor plant (Ricinus communis), it is easily and inexpensively produced, is highly toxic, and is stable in aerosolized form. Ricin has no treatment or vaccine."....really cool.


find the whole story by searching through http://www.dailytexanonline.com/

sincerely,
dubya

Posted by at No comments:

Tuesday, February 21, 2006















dear brenna gethers,
after fiiiinally getting to the performances on american idol, you show up and make me want to vomit....on you. yeah, i wait like 12 weeks through crap, cause i guess FOX producers think thats what we want to see. but i got tired of watching bad singers on week two. anyways, back to you---i hope you get the boot! your 'catty-ness' is not fun to watch, and as a matter of fact, hell better freeze over before i hear paula abdul make some cheesy remark like "you just inspired my heart."
sincerely,
dubya
ps.- when you kept doing the ass-drop, while the credits rolled, i was really hoping kinnik sky wouldve come smothered you with her HUGE lips.
Posted by at 1 comment:

Monday, February 20, 2006



dear KIDS, incorporated,
i think your show was overlooked for the stars it created. ok, ok, the new mickey mouse club helped launch the careers of mega stars like britney spears, justin timberlake, kerri russell, j.c. chasez, ryan gosling and christina aguilara. but MMC wasnt the only 'must watch' for 8-12 year olds in the eighties. KIDS, inc was one of those guilty pleasures you just had to watch.... bad acting, sub-par cover songs, and the strange fact parental units were never seen, made this show a hit. who grew up to be famous, you ask? well, a couple d-listers! i.e.-mario lopez, jennifer love hewwitt, fergie from the black eyed peas and that one actor from the new texas chainsaw massacre and six feet under. way to go!
sincerely,
dubya
Posted by at 1 comment:

Sunday, February 19, 2006


dear any song,
i look forward to any remix you bust out. yeah, i like it when christina milian dips it low, but ya know i need someone to pop-da-pop-da-pop-dat thing.
sincerely,
dubya
Posted by at No comments:

Saturday, February 18, 2006

dear carly simon,
you look like a hybrid of a gelfing from the dark crystal and a horse.
sincerely,
dubya
Posted by at 1 comment:

dear 'date my mom',
your show has got to be the most awkward and uncomfortable show on MTV. well, NEXT is pretty bad too. on both programs, the raunchiest sexual innuedos come out of 16 year olds mouths. on Next, these tweens get on the bus and say such things as, "this guy isnt gonna next me, cause im smooth....everywhere." im a pretty vulgar person, but the lines yall use are just kinda jaw dropping. in date my mom, i was disgusted when a kid took a mom out for crawfish, and said, "yeah, looks like this mom has sucked a few heads in her day." woah there....yet, i still watch it to see how far it'll go. i wouldnt put it past the murray/bunim team to create a new show called, "my super sweet losing virginity party."
sincerely,
dubya
Posted by at 1 comment:

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

i got this in the mail today:

to this i respond:

dear cupid,

woah, way to drop the F bomb. but hey, i understand where youre coming from... if i had to see myself as a fat, bald, piglet with wings, id be a little bitter too. and by tha by, i wasnt upset about yesterday. it came and went. i dont need an excuse to drink a bottle of wine--> you just gave me incentive. so for that, i actually thank you. see ya next year! and yes, those damn cats will adore me. ass.

sincerely,

dubya

Posted by at 1 comment:

Monday, February 13, 2006

dear greys anatomy,
if youve got last nights epidode on TiVo, you may not wanna read this. but anyways, this ones a doozey....now, dont get me wrong, i love your program. yes, you manage to make me get teary-eyed every sunday evening, but i have some constructive criticism.

first, sandra oh---> whats her deal? did you just get the kid from 'mask', and die his hair black? she won the golden globe for best actress in a drama series or something. but my guess is, the hollywood foriegn press thought she was like charlize theron in 'monster'. when she went up to accept the award, i bet they were like, "oh wow. she looks like that ALL the time?!"

also, one pretty annoying part of your show is the way meredith (dr.grey, for the non-watchers) and dr.shepard (aka mcdreamy) have awkward conversations. they always say something, turn around to leave, then the other one finally responds. last night, it was brought to an extreme. as if it wasnt laughable enough when dr.shepard said "i'm glad you didnt die today.", they had a convo like this:

just some things to consider in upcoming episodes.
sincerely,
dubya

ps--did no one care that the bomb squad guy blew up?? i'd think some grieving was in order, but then again, he probably knew he'd die since he gets 'the early edition' every morning **if you get that allusion, props to you.**

Posted by at 4 comments:

Thursday, February 09, 2006


dear michelle williams,
recently, in my letters, ive written alot about food, fat people, and things surrounding this issue. to keep with this theme, and as a public service, id like to tell you-"eat something!" i say this as a fan, and long time DC3 listener. i mean, girl, you are way too thin. maybe youre upset that destiny's child has split up, and you haveta go back to gospel music, or maybe youre pissed youre last name isnt Knowles... but look on the bright side, if you were Solange- Beyonces sister- you'd be married at 17, knocked up by 18, and forgotten by 18 and 1 month.
sincerely,
dubya
Posted by at 1 comment:

Saturday, February 04, 2006


dear tyra banks,
when i get home at 3:34 am, after a good night of drinking, the last thing i want to see is your big forehead on my 27 inch television screen. i dont mind you on americas next top model, but your talk show is pretty un-fierce. first of all, you had weight loss people on this episode, and everytime you introduced someone you'd go, "so-n-so wieghed 309 pounds!"...you'd act all sensitive, but we all know you were disgusted by all 309 pounds of the person sitting in front of you. you have no one fooled---except 18 to 35 year old women who watch UPN.
sincerely,
dubya
Posted by at 1 comment:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)